You start feeling insecure and wonder where
you will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and
that, maybe, those friends that you thought you
were close to aren’t exactly the greatest people
you have ever met, and the people you have lost
touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing
that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or
insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job… and it is not even close
to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realizing that you are
going to have to start at the bottom, and that
scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see
what others are doing and find yourself judging
more than usual because suddenly you realize
that you have certain boundaries in your life and
are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are
insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of
your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and
you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but
soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay
where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how
someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to
know better. Or maybe you love someone but love
someone else too and cannot figure out why you
are doing this because you know that you aren’t a
bad person.

One-night-stands and random hook-ups start to
look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an
idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the
same emotions and questions over and over, and
talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and
making a life for yourself… and while winning the
race would be great, right now you’d just like to be
a contender!