It’s been 3 months since I started working in a call center. Everyday is brand new day! Talking to customers, helping to their concerns, sometimes, bloopers can’t just get out of the way! Can’t help it but laugh to those! I already made a post with regard to this issue, 911 bloopers. And now, got something new to share! I received these thru email and would like to share to all who visit my site. Check this compilation:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press
Any Key” to “Press
Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where
the “Any” key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining
that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover
turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get
his computer to
fax anything.
After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man
was trying to fax a piece of paper- by holding it in
front of the monitor
screen - and hitting the, “Send” key.

4. Yet another, Dell customer called to comp! lain
that his keyboard no
longer worked.
He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap
and water and soaking
the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
washing them
individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a
customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was “Bad and an
invalid.”
The tech explained that the computer’s “bad”
command and “invalid”
responses … shouldn’t be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble
printing documents. He
told the technician that the computer had said it
“couldn’t find printer.”
The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer -
but
that his computer still couldn’t “see” the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech
Support couldn’t get her
new Dell Computer to turn on.
After ensuring the computer w as plugged in, the
technician asked her
what happened when she pushed the power button. ! Her
response, “I pushed
and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing h happens.”
The “foot pedal”
turned out to be the computer’s mouse..

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to
say her brand new
computer wouldn’t work.
She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and
sat there for 20
minutes waiting for something to happen.
When asked what happened when she pressed the power
switch, she asked,
“What power switch?”

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing
software and rang for
support…. “I put in the first disk, and that was OK.
It said to put in
the second disk, and had some problems with the disk.
When it said to put
in the third disk, I couldn’t even fit it in.
” The user hadn’t realized that “Insert Disk 2″
implied to remove Disk
1 first.

10. A story from a Novell Net Wire SysOp:

CALLER: “Hello, is this Tech Support?”
TECH: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?”
CALLER: “The cup holder on my PC is broken - and I
am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that
fixed?”
TECH: “I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?”
CALLER: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my
computer.”
TECH: “Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped,
it’s because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a
trade show? How did you
get
this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?”
CALLER: “It came with my computer. I don’t know
anything about a
promotional… It just has ‘4X’ on it.” At this point,
the Tech Rep had to
mute the caller because he couldn’t stand it. He was
laughing too hard.
The caller had been using the load drawer of the
CD-ROM drive as a cup
holder and snapped it off the drive.

11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a
problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was “running it under
windows.” The woman
responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that
is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is
working fine.”

12. And last but not least:

TECH SUPPORT: “O.K. Bob, let’s press the control
and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of
the screen. Now
type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
CUSTOMER: “I don’t have a ‘P’ “.
TECH SUPPORT: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
CUSTOMER: “What do you mean?”
TECH SUPPORT: ” ‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”
CUSTOMER: “I ain’t gonna to do that!”

others:

tsr: can I hold you for a minute?

cust: sure..

—

tsr called back cust to follow up on the status of the computer.

cust: somebody already called me about it. everything is fine as of the moment. he said he’ll just call me back tomorrow.

tsr: oh, ok. he must be my teammate to whom I assigned the callback.
(to the another agent) Psst! Tinawagan mo na ba ‘tong customer na ‘to, si Noel? Sabi may tumawag na daw sa kanya, pero wala naman log dito.

other tsr: oo, tinawagan ko na yan. kakatapos ko lang ng log, baka ngayon lang pumasok.

cust: uhmm… ma’am, you’re not on mute..

**limot nyang i-mute habang tagalog to the max sya.

—

tsr: ok, what happened? what do you on the screen now?

cust: nothing.

tsr: wala?

—-

tsr: now, I want you to press F2 as soon as you see the D**L logo.

cust: ok…

cust: nothing’s happening..

tsr: tap on it a few times..

cust: nothing’s happening..

tsr: make sure that’s F2 you’re pressing ok..

cust: yeah, I’m pressing the letter F and the number 2 at the same time..

—

in the middle of reinstalling XP, nakatulog yung tsr. at biglang nagising.

tsr: ok! is the power cable plugged in?

—
CUSTOMER: my mouse is not working, it doesn’t have a “ball.”
TECH: your mouse is an optical mouse, that’s why it does not have a ball.
CUSTOMER: no! you don’t understand, my mouse is not working, it does not have a “ball.”
(old lady could not understand what an optical mouse is so the tech spent about 30 minutes on her just trying to explain why her mouse does not have a “ball.”)
TECH: ma’am, may i place you on hold for a minute to…
(TECH places the customer on hold, then takes a deep breath out of frustration, then goes back to the customer)
TECH: thank you for holding ma’am, the reason your mouse does not have a “ball” is your mouse is a FEMALE mouse. Since it’s a FEMALE mouse, it’s a SUPERIOR mouse. It does not need to have a “ball.”
CUSTOMER: oh! i understand now. well why didn’t you say so right away!? …

one satisfied customer na naman

heto pa isa:

for a telephone company account:

my team mate provisioned the order of the customer and just summarized what had been done to the account. before hanging up and giving the closing spiel, he asked…

AGENT: do you have any questions before i FINISH you?

tawa kami nang tawa dito nang marinig namin ito, pati sya nagulat ng marinig niya ito lumabas sa mouth niya…tawa din sya eh.pati yung customer niya natawa din! nyehehehe

And another one!

TSR: 0kay sir, Let’s check if y0u wiLL be abLe t0 g0 0nLine n0w…
CUST: yes… (yes Lang ng yes kase et0ng HAPON na it0… )
TSR: type in www.yahoo.com
CUST: what? yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir… yahoo.com…
CUST: yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir… com… C-O-M
CUST: cot?
TSR: (asar na) .com sir!
CUST: aahhh… yahoo.cot.
———————————-
TSR: It’s C as in CAT.
CUST: what?
TSR: C as in CAT. C-A-T… me0w me0w…
(ayuz! very specific na yan ha baka hindi m0 pa magets…)!
———————————-
CS: Thank you for calling… this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was… Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it’s Candy…
Cust: Sorry, can’t hear ya… didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir… Candy… as in Storck!!!
(oohhh… now I get it!!!)
———————————-
CS: Was that a “B” as in boy or a “B” as in bravo?
Cust: Uhhmmm… how about “B” as in boy…
(good choice…)
———————————-
CS: Alright, let me verify that… Was that a “G” as in golf?
Cust (with a different accent): NO! That was a “G” as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
Oh, Gebra!!! like the one in the Goo?!!!… Gusme… Gon’t gou get git?)
———————————-
CS: Yeah, sir… sir… are you there?
Cust: Yes, yes, I’m there!
(siguro naglalaro sila ng Counter…)
———————————-
CS: Sir, do you have NET-ESCAPE there?
Cust: Huh?… Oh!!!.. No, I have MSN IN-NERNET EXPLODER here…
(… makes sense to me!!!)
———————————-
TS: Ok, sir… do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Cust: What?!!
TS: Oh, Im sorry, sir… Do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?…
(klap! klap! klap!)
———————————-
ethernet cord connected???…
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)
TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem…
(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)
———————————-
CS: …That’s E as in I-KOW… (echo)
(oki lang yan, Dong…)
———————————-
CS: Come again, sir?!!!
Cust: Oh sure, baby!!!
(negro siguro kausap neto…)
———————————-
TS: Ok, sir, this is ano… what you’ll do… you have to type the ano…the command run and ano…
(…teypows enow???)
———————————-
Cust: So, do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?
CS: Sir, the package has been delivered and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP schedule…
(… I can PEEL it!!!)
———————————-
CS: I w! as hoping you can take this survey with me… Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes….
(ay shyet!!!)
———————————-
CS: …I’d like to speak with Billy Thompson please???
Contact: He’s not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
CS: Sure, SIGE…
(ay shyet, ulet!!!)
———————————-
local client kaya mostly pinoy and callers, usually from visayas…
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???…
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust: Hende naman…
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!…
CS: aahhh… yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote… tsk, tsk, tsk…)
———————————-
TS: Ok, sir… Could you please drag the icon UPSTAIRS?…
(… lemme try…)
———————————-
Cust (US): So how’s the weather there?
CS: Well… it’s kinda cloudy today, sir…
Cust: Oh really?!!!… So where are you located?
CS: Sir, your call has been re-routed in ORTIGAS!!!…
(… dats nir Mexico…)
———————————
TS: Alright, we’re going to perform a checkdisk… that is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it.please type in C-H-K-D-S-K…
Cust: What is that again?
TS: C-H-K-D-S-K… that is… C as in Charlie… H as in Harley… K as in Karly… D as in Darley… S as in Sarley… and K as in Karly…
(gleng-gleng… bagong version…)

________________

I find it so funny ‘coz I can relate to it too. I’ve also received a couple of calls almost like that! ;p