I got these from a friend in “FRIENDSTER” and would love to make a repost here in my site! This is totally freaking me out! It’s definitely funny. Mind it!

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is your
emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like
gunshots coming from the brown house
on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I’m wearing a blouse and
slacks, why?
—
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is your
emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and
took a bite out of my ham and
cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich
and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the
bathroom, someone had taken a bite
out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me
before and I’m sick and tired of it.
—
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one.
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need
police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call.
Can you tell me how to cook a
turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.
—
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. Fire or emergency?
Called: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering…..does the
Fire Dept. put snow chains on their
trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an
emergency?
Caller: Well, I’ve spent the last 4
hours trying to put these chains on
my tires and….well…. do you think
the Fire Dept. could come over and
help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
—
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is the
nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven
but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was
nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and
nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not
stupid.
—
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What’s the
nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes
apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband.
—
And the winner is . . . . . .

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one.
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble
breathing. I’m all out of breath.
Darn…I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and
Foster. Damn……
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the
way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before
you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.

* With Credits to Anna Estrebello